Christmas on the Normandy
by Octoberskys
Summary: A little taste of what Xmas would be like on the Normandy. Written by some of the greatest Liara/Fem Shep FF writers. Blackdeer, DaDoozer, Elizabeth Carter, and more to come.
1. Chapter 1

Hello Everyone,

This story was a little different and is not yet complete but it was getting down to the line and I really wanted to get something posted before Christmas Day. This is a story not only written by me but several other great Fan Fiction writers, so far they include:

**Myself, Octoberskys, Blackdeer, DaDoozer, Elizabeth Carter and Cloverdaze. **

The story isn't done and neither is my list of very talented writers. Feel free to review and guess who wrote what.. lol Enjoy and as always, Merry Christmas and may there be peace on Earth.

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**A Christmas Story**

**Time period: Mass Effect 1 – Crew onboard SSV Normandy, SR1**

"Ok everyone, gather around!" shouted the excited Alliance Officer.

A large evergreen tree filled a corner of the CIC as a small group of individuals huddled around. "What's this about Commander," questioned the turian. Attempting to hold in her excitement, Shepard replied, "Give me a chance Garrus, I was just about to explain."

The small crowd laughed amongst themselves before they settled down to hear what Commander Shepard, First Human Spectre, Savior of the Citadel had to say. "On my home planet of Earth, we have a very special holiday called Christmas in which we celebrated love, peace on earth and goodwill towards men. This year, I'd like celebrate the holiday with a party and a gift exchange."

Upon hearing the words, _party_ and _gift_, part of the group of mismatched crew members erupted in excitement while others stared at Shepard with a dumbfounded look that easily conveyed they had no idea what she was talking about.

Tali was the first to ask, "How is this suggested exchange in presents going to work Shepard?" earning a few laughs from the other humans.

"Glad you asked Tali," Shepard sung. Snatching Joker's hat off his head, Shepard poured several small pieces of paper in the hat as she shook and stirred them with her hand. "I'm going to pass the hat around, everyone take one piece of paper. On the piece of paper, will be someone's name and that is who you will be getting a gift for. The secret is not to tell anyone whose name you picked."

Looking at the two giggling aliens next to Dr. Chakwas, Shepard added, "That includes you two; Liara and Tali." Calling out the two snickering women sparked a contagious laugh that filled the room. Everyone one was excited indeed.

Passing the hat around, Shepard continued her explanation. "Now you can trade your Secret Santa with someone else if you want to." Interrupting, Liara politely asked, "Shepard, I thought you said we weren't allowed to tell anyone who our Secret Santa was?"

A mild expression of frustration blanketed the Commander's face, as she knew explaining this holiday to a group of aliens, no matter how intelligent they were, was going to be difficult.

Ignoring the Spectre's attempt to explain, Ashley chirped, "My sisters and I love Secret Santa! We would always switch names; although sometimes, we had to bribe each other to get the name we wanted."

"Why did you have to bribe to get a name? Didn't you pull a name from a hat?" asked a curious Garrus.

Laughing, Joker answered for Ash. "Sometimes, you pull a name and you have no idea what to get that person, so you trade with someone else for an easier name. And sometimes that person doesn't want to give up their name without being given something." Louder and to the whole group, Joker belted, "So if anyone wants to pay me off me with a heated massage chair, I'll trade whatever name I have!"

Chiming into the conversation, Wrex asked, "Will there be poker tables at this party like we had at casino night?" Looking at everyone in the room, he slapped Garrus hard on the shoulder as he mentioned, "Now, that was a fun night!" The giant battlemaster appeared to be grinning from ear to ear, if that was possible.

Rubbing her temple, Shepard explained, "No, there won't be any gambling during the Christmas Party. There will be tree decorating, eggnog, music and of course the gift exchange." Shooting a sideways glance to her favorite asari, Shepard added, "Maybe even some mistletoe." Although Liara didn't know what mistletoe was, she could tell by the expression on the commander's face, it was going to be something she would enjoy.

Hoping to gain some support from her fellow commander, Shepard looked to her Chief Medical Officer and asked, "Anything you'd like to add? It would be greatly appreciated, Doc."

The mild-mannered woman shrouded in a gray uniform answered, "Only one thing, Commander." The doctor's voice rose in order to address the whole crew – human and alien alike. "This year, stims will NOT be passed out like candy canes- so mind your eggnog consumption!"

An audible groan could be heard throughout the room, but the doctor's only reply was to cross her arms stoically.

Joker playfully nudged Ashley and whispered, "Unless you're sneaky enough to bribe the good doctor with a little elf magic called brandy."

"I heard that Mr. Moreau," cautioned the doctor. "That ploy will not work this year."

As the hat continued to be passed through the room, Liara and Tali stared at the bare fir tree in the corner and Garrus walked up to join them.

Gesturing to the tree, Tali asked, "What is the significance of this?"

"I did some research," said Liara. "Humans decorate it with incandescent lights and in lieu of its triangle shape and ability to stay green all year, it becomes a symbol for the ever-burning fire of life."

"I thought it was an appetizer," remarked the quarian.

Both women looked over to Garrus who had broken of a piece of the tree and was in the midst of munching on it. "Oh damn," said the turian sheepishly between chews, "…this is awkward."

With four pieces of paper left, Shepard – who had the hat of names in her hand - moved over to the group standing near the tree. First, she offered the hat to Garrus who was still munching on the impromptu appetizer. He mumbled "not bad" before snatching a piece of paper out of the hat. Then the commander turned to Tali, who ritualistically performed a quarian version of "eenie meenie miney mo" and then selected a piece of paper.

With only two names left in the hat, Shepard turned to Liara and smiled anxiously. "Liara…"

"Shepard," replied the asari as she stepped closer – personal space now at a minimum- and shyly returned the commander's smile. Grabbing a piece of paper from the hat, she innocently said, "You will have to explain the significance of mistletoe to me, Commander. Perhaps privately?"

Shepard's eyes grew wide and she felt a lump lodge in her throat. Coughing nervously, she said, "Um…yeah. That sounds great."

As the Spectre's eyes met Liara's, the room beyond seemed to fade away- as if space and time had been displaced and only they now existed at the center of the universe… Until the Gunnery Chief enthusiastically elbowed the commander in the ribs failed to break the trance, "Skipper?"

_Lucid pools of absolute blue shimmered and danced vividly amongst the artificial lights of the CIC; playfully teasing the on looking pair of human eyes with alluring mysteries and secrets waiting to be uncovered_.

The gunnery chief once again tried to get the attention of her commander, her tone adopting a sing-song like melody as she spoke. "Earth to Commander Shepard..."

_They stood inching closer and closer, each pair of lips, each flash of the eye infinitely daring the other to partake in an offered pleasure. Each wondering what selection of tactics and charms would force the other into the victor's arms..._

"Ah jeez, cut it out you two! You're sappier than the tree!" Ash chuckled quirking an eyebrow and jutting her elbow into the exposed right side of Shepard's hip, "Stand there long enough and we just might start hanging ornaments off the both of you instead."

Instantly Shepard was snapped out of her amorous thoughts and back into the realities of the present amidst the gathered crew still populating the command deck.

"I... We...She was...Uh...What?" Shepard helplessly fumbled, tongue-tied between words and incoherent muddled thoughts, trying desperately to regain her military composure.

Liara instantly felt an unwelcome faint purple blush to her once blue freckled cheeks. She groaned softly, placing a concealing hand across the quickly expanding shy smile that skittered across her face. _I must definitely research this mistletoe Shepard spoke of when I return to the med bay. It seemed to have quite a profound effect on the commander._

A familiar male voice interrupted her thoughts as a pair of arms wrapped jovially around Liara's and Shepard's shoulders.

"What's going on?" questioned the Normandy's hot shot pilot.

"Nothing much," replied the Gunnery Chief. "I was just about to propose to Shepard that we should make this Secret Santa a little bit more interesting."

"Do I dare ask how you plan on managing that? I mean why complicate simple." Shepard sighed.

"Because you of all people should know complications are what make things fun." Williams simply winked.

"So someone on this ship has Liara's name. Your mission, Skipper, is to find who has it and obtain it. Liara's mission is the same only with your name."

The commander arched an eyebrow, leaning back on her right leg and folding her arms across her chest. "Ok, still sounds simple and I had that intention anyway. What's the catch?"

The confident, dark haired soldier pondered the idea for a moment before breaking into a smug cheshire grin and excitedly replying, "You can't order it. That'd make things way too easy. Special Tactics and Reconnaissance right?"

"Yes,,," Shepard already knew where this was going. "So you're saying this is a training course as a Spectre?"

"Exactly so." Garrus' mandibles flickered in amusement.

"In the meantime, we carry out own Secret Santa objectives." Williams said.

"And what exactly are these objectives?" Wrex asked feeling on just this side of bewilderment. He knew of some krogan who had their plates turned by some soft squishy asari, they tended to spout bad poetry and shower their women with gifts, but this was something utterly alien to him. To give a gift to a female he had no intention to breed, or bribe into compliance over some deal of was…unheard of. The old battlemaster however noted he was quite lucky in that he happened to have picked Williams. She liked guns, he liked guns: it made things simple.

"As a Secret Santa you give gifts to the person you chose, do small favors for them without them knowing it. Hence the word s_ecret_. The gifts don't have to be expensive, just fun. Something you know they will enjoy. It's all in good spirit," Shepard explained further.

At this everyone gave a second look to the little slips of paper, each formalizing a plan on how achieve their objective.

Tali thought her own pick was quite easy. Joker was a man who liked his ships, he loved to fly. A few model ships or anything about ships really and she'd have an easy time of it. Oh and of course there were a few vids he liked, such as Vaenia.

Despite the fact Shepard did indeed want Liara as her Secret Santa; she knew she'd enjoy leaving little things for the youngest member of the crew. Tali was the little sister Shepard never had. The young woman didn't have a great deal to call her own; it'd be nice to get her a few things. _Yes- this could be fun._ She gave a look to the lovely Prothean Expert as she thought, _"Then again, finding out who held __**her**__ name and gaining possession of it was also going to be fun."_

Liara for her part was intrigued by this holiday. Of course the asari had a similar holiday, where one gave gifts to loved ones but never covertly. And this mistletoe sounded like a human aphrodisiac, though one with religion significance to this holiday.

Once she got back to the Med-Bay Liara immediately started the research into the plant called mistletoe. What she found out surprised her to say the least for such a plant held in some regard by Shepard was typically an infestation on other trees found on earth, its Anglo-Saxon name latterly meant dung-on-a-stick. Some primitive cultures had used the juice of the berry as an adhesive to capture insets and small birds. It was also used medicinally but if not properly processed could become quite deadly. In human folk-lore it was used by their old gods as a slayer of their kith. Liara, also found it was sometimes seen as a divine male essence (and thus romance, fertility and vitality), possibly due to a resemblance between the berries and semen. It was later ritualistically used to by ancient Christmas custom between a man and a woman who meet under a hanging of mistletoe were obliged to kiss. This confused Liara as Shepard was very much very female.

Perhaps Dr. Chakwas could provide answers the extranet wikipedia could not. "_Time to ask some question,"_ thought the professor. Besides it was a good opportunity to gain her own reconnaissance, not only was Liara the good doctor's Secret Santa, she might just figure out if Chakwas had picked her heart's desire as her own Santa.

Searching out her quarry Liara found Dr. Chakwas huddled over her computer. As soon as she saw the young asari, the human quickly and deftly slicked the monitor so that Liara could not see what she was viewing.

"Liara, what can I do for you?"

"I need a bit of clarification about something I was researching on human customs. Particularly the mistletoe." For the next five minutes the Prothean Expert had laid out all she had learned about Earth's little plant.

Chakwas laughed softly- not at the maiden, but at her assumptions. "As many earth customs, much of the history is forgotten either deliberately or by neglect. For anyone, anymore all mistletoe means is that you get kissed under it. That's the game: catch someone under it and give them a kiss and if you're lucky you ambush your…special somebody."

"Ambush them?" Liara mused. She had learned much of military tactics with her time on the _Normandy. _Ambushing, out maneuvering and flanking your pray was one of them. Purled lips curled into a very devious smile. Now all she had to do was to gain access to the commander's quarters.

In the meantime, the former C-Sec officer whose head was buried deep in the Mako's engine was fending off another from trying to obtain his chosen Secret Santa: Commander Shepard. The man yelled, "Gadatz!" as metal clanked on metal and the turian jerked as if striking himself. Shaking his wrist from the unexpected contact, Garrus asked the person behind him. "Tell me why you want Shepard's name again so bad?"

The voice behind him said in a pleading tone, "Because I have NO CLUE what to get a krogan battlemaster!" Joker lifted both of his arms in the air as if to increase his height. "I am krogan! Hear me roar!" He let his arms fall to his sides. "The guy blinks and people fall dead. Whaddya get for someone like that? Sunglasses?"

"What makes you think I know what Wrex would want?"

"You hang out together in the storage bay EVERY day, Garrus! You must talk! Head butting tactics, accessorizing with assault rifles, the puniness of humans… Who knows what fascinating conversations you two share?"

"Wrex doesn't talk much."

"Garrus!" snapped the pilot, "That's NOT the point! The point is that desperate times have arrived! And you're the only one who can help me."

"Fine. I'll do it," said Garrus. "On one condition…"

"Name it."

"Get me some more of that fir tree."

The next day, Gunner Chief Williams strode confidently into the med bay. She was dressed in Alliance casual clothes, but her hair was pulled back with a festive red and green hair tie. No one had noticed her "out of compliance" accessory, so a smug smile graced her face. "I've considered your offer, Doctor."

The recipient of Ashley commentary, Dr. Chakwas, was standing next a med bed and running some routine diagnostics. She turned around when she heard the younger woman's voice. "And what have you decided, Chief?"

"I agree to your terms of name swapping. You can have Liara's and I will take Garrus'. Not only will this make it harder for Shepard, but I already know what to get Garrus."

Smiling, Chakwas remarked, "Oh? What's that?"

"I'm getting him an assortment of evergreens. He's already eaten half of the Christmas tree," the chief rolled her eyes, "although he denies it better than a politician."

"That sounds perfect, Chief." Chakwas looked at the time on the wall. "If there's nothing else, I'm afraid I have an appointment to keep."

"No problem, Doc." Ashley turned and headed out the door, almost colliding with Liara as she stepped into the med bay. The chief stopped when she saw that the asari had a bottle of brandy in her hands. The Ashley looked to Chakwas – who had a "deer in the headlight" expression on her face, and then looked to Liara – who was smiling innocently.

In an instant, the Gunnery Chief knew she'd been played. "But… but… That's not fair!"

"All is fair in love and war, Chief," countered Chakwas with a grin. "And my love of brandy wins the match."

Liara stepped over to the medical doctor and handed her the bottle of vintage Serrice Ice Brandy. "I did fulfill your mission requirements, Chief. I used some subterfuge, my knowledge of the doctor's appreciation of brandy and a bribe to get the name I wanted." Liara's innocent smile turned into a "not-so-innocent" smirk.

The Chief narrowed her eyes as she put her hands on her hips and then huffed, "At least the Commander doesn't cheat!"

As if on cue, Shepard walked into the med bay with a bottle of brandy in her hands. She immediately halted her progress when she saw the other three women in the room. "I'm sorry, Doctor. Am I early? I thought we had an appointment."

Doctor Chakwas smiled. "We do, Commander. And you are right on time."

"This is SO not fair!" whined Ashley. "You were supposed to be all 'Spectre-y'!"

"Ash," reasoned Shepard, "rule number one in being a Spectre: hire all the mercenaries you can to do your dirty work." Smirking mischievously, she handed the bottle of brandy to Chakwas, who accepted it with grand amusement.

"Wait a minute!" Ashley's eyes scanned the room suspiciously. "I know for a fact that _you_," the chief pointed a finger at Shepard, "couldn't have Liara's name! Because I know who does!"

The doors of the med bay opened once again and Joker- who was reading a tablet- walked in. "Doc, I know you said giving me stims for the eggnog wasn't ethical, but still… I figured I rubbed your back by getting Liara's name into…" Joker looked up and saw four pairs of female eyes staring at him- one of which had a murderous glare. He swiveled around and immediately left the room. "I'll talk to you later, Doc!"

Ashley spun on her heel so she faced Chakwas. "You're a double agent!" the chief loudly accused.

The older woman raised both hands in the air – each holding a bottle of brandy and she grinned brazenly. "All's fair, Chief."

Ashley shook her head and chuckled. "All right. I know when I've been out maneuvered." She raised her eyebrow and praised, "You're crafty for a doctor."

"Why thank you, Chief." Chakwas secured both bottles of brandy in a locked drawer. "When we're off shift, I'll share the rewards I've reaped."

"Deal, Doctor." Ashley looked over to the commander and Prothean expert, but held her tongue. Instead she walked out of the med bay, still chuckling on the doctor's well-played game.

While the gunnery chief and medical doctor were having their exchange, Liara and Shepard had moved toward the med lab doors…

"So..."

"So..."

"You worked a deal with the doc' too… pretty craft professor." said Shepard, cozying up to Liara, as they were now in the professor's back room.

"It was merely a process of identifying who was in a position to best achieve what I needed accomplished."

"Uh huh."

"Shepard, I'm detecting a note of skepticism."

"What? No, I'm extremely impressed with your skills Dr. T'Soni and absolutely flattered you would go to such lengths to secure your objective."

"Well, Commander Shepard, securing the objective is usually the primary goal is it not?"

"I couldn't agree with you more." said Shepard, as she put her arms around Liara.

"Hmmm...then perhaps you would care to elaborate on your overwhelming enthusiasm for mistletoe."

"Oh professor," said Shepard making a mental note to check on the status of the special delivery of mistletoe she had ordered, "It would be my pleasure to elaborate on the benefits of mistletoe." Shepard leaned into the professor with the intent of nuzzling her most delicious neck as Liara continued.

"Good. Because I must say, I am rather stumped as to why a poisonous plant that has been referred to as 'dung on a stick' has any relevance to your religious holiday."

"What?" _That was a real mood killer,_ thought Shepard as she backed up to try and focus on the conversation.

"Mistletoe Shepard, I am attempting to understand why something that is spread through bird excrement is an integral part of your holiday, please focus."

"I am focusing...Uh ... It's not like that ... Um... Where did you get this info?"

"From the extranet Wikipedia, you made reference to this mistletoe the other day and it was obvious from your tone there was some sort of possible aphrodisiac properties associated with it but after my research I do not understand why humans would quite literally get excited over…well… shit."

"Liara!"

"Vorcha yes, I could see their interest but humans? I can find no instances of shit in any form being used as an aphrodisiac in your culture. I found numerous references to it being a catch all when referencing something disagreeable: 'this is a piece of shit' ... 'Shit happens' or 'SHIT! I stubbed my toe'"

"Liara!" said Shepard jumping back at the professor's exuberant rant.

"But never in any holiday or religious connotation with the possible exception of 'holy shit' but that seemed more of an astonished exclamation than anything said in relation to a deity. And as far as the aphrodisiac implications, the only instance I was able to uncover seemed to be a rather crass guttural reference exclaimed in the heat of passion by one partner to the other 'I want to-"

"LIARA!" shouted Shepard knowing what was coming next.

"The shit out of you'… Yes Shepard? Why are you shouting?"

***************** Cockpit

"Joker."

"Hey commander; what's up?"

"Any word on what happened to my package?"

"We confirmed it was in the manifest and the chief is down in the cargo bay working on finding it for you as we speak."

Shepard left the cockpit faster than a Volus could say 'sold' as Joker switched over one of the vid screens and continued watching the latest episode of Vaenia.

***************** Cargo Bay

"I'm out."

"Me too." Wrex gruffily stated.

"Ooh...I win again!" exclaimed a jubilant Tali.

"Damn Garrus, you need to lay off the tree and deal us some better cards." said the chief, tossing her cards over to the former security officer. As Tali returned her cards to Garrus for the next hand they flipped, exposing her winning hand, "Wait...you raised a hundred credits on a pair of twos? That's a ridiculous bet!"

"She out bluffed you chief." said Garrus, happily chewing on a branch.

"Just lucky I guess."

"Hmph, my hump it's luck." grumbled the krogan.

Joker's voice over the intercom interrupted them, "Hey chief? Heads up, the commander's on her way down to see if you've found her 'package.'"

"Is that the-"

"Yes." said the gunny to Tali before acknowledging Joker, "Thanks Joker."

"No prob."

"All right guys, flip it."

The squad's makeshift card table crate was flipped upside down and three of them were now scanning data pads of manifests, all evidence of gambling safely removed, while Tali fiddled with her omni-tool.

"Tali, are we a go?" asked the chief.

"Almost there...boshtet!"

"That doesn't sound good." Grumbled the krogan.

"Who would put triple layer galactic standard encryption on their personal environmental controls?"

"Can you do it?"

"Chief I'm a quarian it's just going to be a minute longer than my original calculations."

"Calm your quad Williams, Shepard's in the elevator, Garrus would have enough time to eat a path through all the forests in the Nubian Expanse before she gets here." Assured Wrex, looking at Garrus still munching yet another branch.

"Where do you put it all?" asked Ashley,

"High metabolism." deadpanned Garrus.

"Got it!" exclaimed Tali.

"We're in?"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"Yeah well you're the bluff queen so I just wanted to be sure."

"I don't bluff; I just go with what I like."

"You liked a pair of twos?"

"They matched."

"It's the mask." added Garrus.

"Huh?"

"She is probably all smiles behind the mask but you don't know it."

"That's not fair you can't play with a mask on anymore."

"Uh… when I said I was dying to play poker with you guys again I didn't mean it to be so literal."

"Hah!" boomed Wrex. "What? It was funny… better than all the 'stories.'"

"Chief you could wear a mask."

"What? I would look stupid playing poker in a mask ...no offense."

"Would you rather lose or look stupid?"

Before Ashley had a chance to answer they heard the telltale sound of screeching metal on metal, signifying the elevator had finally arrived.

"She's here ...I'm not wearing a mask and I'm not losing this time; everyone ready?"

"You know Chief, metaphorically speaking, you are wearing a mask." espoused Garrus.

"Huh?"

"Your little mission masks your true intent, metaphorically speaking."

The chief looked absolutely dumbfounded at what Garrus was saying retorting, "Garrus if you don't shut it I'm going to metaphorically shove what's left of that tree up your-"

"Calm your quad Williams, he's a turian he can't help himself."

"Ash?" called Shepard from the other room as she was obviously making her way toward her trusted squad mates.

"Alright this is it." said Ashley as she tapped her communicator, "Professor? You're clear!"

****************** Med bay

"Oh goddess, we're a go." Liara was pacing in the med bay.

"What's wrong Liara?"

"What if this doesn't work? What if she gets so upset and… and-"

"Calm down my dear, everything is going according to plan." Dr. Chakwas assured her as she placed a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Yes, you're right. I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay dear we all get a little nervous at times."

"Thank you Dr. Chakwas."

"Anytime, my dear." said the chief medical officer to Liara's back as she exited the med bay.

*********************** Cargo bay

"What do you mean you can't find it?"

"We can't find it...we looked everywhere we checked and double checked the manifests: it's not here."

"That's impossible!" said an agitated Shepard.

"Commander, the chief is correct. According to the info we have there was a delay in processing, we left port before the rest of the cargo could be loaded. So, Citadel customs has placed the rest of our crates in a holding bay until we return." explained the former C-Sec officer.

"You sure you didn't eat it Garrus?"

"I don't do berries."

"Well the data pad could be wrong; who signed off on it?" asked Shepard hopefully.

There was an uncomfortable silence amongst the squad as Shepard repeated the question, "People, I asked a question and I want an answer now...who is the incompetent fool that signed off on an incomplete manifest?"

"Um ...a...well...you did." Tali hesitantly answered.

"What? Let me see that." Shepard grabbed the data pad from Tali and scowled as she read the information, "This can't be right."

"Uh, what can't be right?" replied Tali, nervously wringing her hands.

************************ Shepard's cabin

"You ready Blue?" asked Joker over the ship's intercom system.

"As ready as I'll ever be." replied Liara as she took one last look around Shepard's cabin to make sure everything was in place.

"Alright then, one commander heading your way."

********************** Cargo bay

"This just doesn't make any sense." said Shepard, still examining the data pad.

The poker group nervously looked at each other as Joker's voice came over the intercom, "Commander?"

"Yeah Joker?"

"Important communication just came in for you from Admiral Hackett. Since the comm room has become party central I had it routed to your personal quarters."

"Thanks Joker." Said Shepard with a big sigh and she tossed data pad on the crate walking back to elevator grousing, "Jeez Louise, does Hackett think I'm the only commander in the fifth fleet?"

"Keelah that was close." said Tali after Shepard had left the room.

"I thought we were busted for sure."

"Calm your quad Williams, we had it all the way. The squishy one's got Shepard so wound up, I could've stood here naked and she wouldn't have noticed."

"Thanks for the visual." sputtered Garrus, spitting out pieces of tree.

"Hah!" boomed Wrex, "You're just jealous turian."

******************** Shepard's cabin

"Lights." said Shepard, entering her cabin. When the lights failed to obey her command she muttered, "You've got to be kidding me." As she walked toward her table she suddenly found herself ensnared in a blue energy field.

"Lights." said the smooth delicate voice of Liara as she sashayed out of the shadows toward Shepard.

"Uh Liara ...what's going on?"

"Look up."

"Mistletoe? Wait, my mistletoe?"

"Yes."

"But-" Liara placed a finger on Shepard's lips, silencing her protestations as she continued to seductively saunter around the commander's still frame, "The doctor was kind enough to elaborate on the traditional significance of mistletoe and how one 'ambushes' their intended victim for a kiss. Once I had that little bit of information it wasn't difficult to figure out what you were planning."

Shepard adopted a Cheshire grin as she replied, "Well it is tradition."

"That it is…" said Liara as she seductively dragged a light finger up Shepard's back and casually over her shoulders and chest until she stopped at her torso, "and not only have I ambushed you but I have also aced chief Williams impromptu Spectre training challenge and you my dear are my reward."

Shepard smirked then realized what Liara had said, "Wait a minute." she looked up, "Mistletoe ... My mistletoe... It was here all along?"

"Yes."

"But the manifest and the 'dung on a stick shit' fiasco and Admiral Hackett's message and…" Shepard looked at Liara.

"Yes dear?" inquired Liara sweetly.

"All you?"

Liara nodded, "With some help...I believe it was you who said a good Spectre…" Liara leaned into Shepard and whispered in her ear, "Utilizes all available resources." Liara concluded by nibbling the commander's ear...down her jawline and finally kissed her lips as she released the stasis...breaking from her feast she said, "Merry Christmas Commander."

"Merry Christmas, Dr. T'Soni." replied Shepard as she brought Liara into her arms, embracing for another kiss.

"As much as I would love to stay here and continue to explore mistletoe traditions, I do believe our presence is expected at the party."

"I don't think anybody will miss us." said Shepard leaning in for another kiss as Liara twisted out of the embrace.

"Shepard, if we don't leave now we'll be late for the gift exchange and I want to see Tali's face when she opens her gift."

"Uh, Li?"

"What?...Oh you know what I mean, come on."

Shepard laughed, shook her head and pointed to the mistletoe, "What about?"

"What about it? It'll still be here when we get back."

The commander raised an eyebrow, folded her arms and leaned to the side as she smugly said...

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

As promised, a continuation….

**Christmas onboard the Normandy**

******************** Still inside Shepard's Cabin ********************

"Shepard to the bridge!"

"Aye, Aye Commander. What can I do for you?" replied her trusty pilot.

"Joker, please inform the other guests that I will be a little late for this evening's Christmas Party."

Attempting to contain his snickering, the pilot inquired, "May I ask how long… um…approximately?"

Shooting the prothean expert a daring glance Shepard announced, "About 15 minutes."

A defiant look made its way across the asari's face as she silently lipped, "You wouldn't dare."

The commander glanced up at her stolen mistletoe then grinned back at Liara, smugly corrected her orders, "Joker better make that half an hour." Not leaving any time for snide comments from the pilot, she quickly ended the transmission, "Shepard out!"

******************** Conference Room ********************

The strains of "Here Comes Santa Claus," followed by what sounded like small cannon fire, could be heard from outside the conference room as Joker nimbly, or rather, nimbly for one with Vrolik's Syndrome, made his way into the festivities. "What's with the mess?"

"'Bout time you got here," wisecracked the gunny chief.

"Yeah, well Michaelson was too busy playing smoochy face on his vid call so I had to wait until he relieved me, but the commander's gonna be arriving late anyway so no biggie." Joker started to carefully navigate his way across the conference room floor, which was covered in multicolored debris, when a loud bang made him jump, "Hey!" he cried as he teetered unsteadily.

"Wrex has discovered Christmas Crackers," giggled a brightly lit Tali, who had adorned her environmental suit with blinking lights.

"Actually Tali, these are not the traditional Christmas Crackers I had wanted to share with you," corrected Dr. Chakwas, as she ladled another mug of eggnog for herself.

"You think?" Joker questioned sarcastically as he waved a hand to blow away the light plumes of smoke drifting across the room.

Ignoring the pilot, Chakwas continued, "Apparently there was a miscommunication with my order and I received the Russian version of the crackers….they are a little more, shall we say, pyrotechnically advanced?"

Another small explosion, accompanied by fire and smoke filled the room. "Sounds about right," agreed Garrus, happily munching a tree branch.

The huge krogan had parked himself in the corner of the conference room, a large box of Christmas Crackers before him. Totally oblivious to his fellow partygoers, he reached in and ripped open another cracker. After the obligatory explosion he closed his eyes and moved his head from side to side, breathing in the smoky air, while the cracker's remnants, slowly drifted down around him to the floor. Opening his eyes to repeat the procedure, He realized everyone in the room was looking at him. Answering their questioning glances, Wrex took another deep breath of the wafting smoke around him and rumbled, "Spoils of war."

"Uh huh," Joker shook his head, "I'd hate to see you on Independence Day."

"Ha! Eating, drinking and explosions," Wrex enthusiastically nodded, "I can't wait."

"How do you-," Joker started.

"I might have let it slip," Ashley shrugged her shoulders, "Hey, gotta keep the big guy happy."

"I'd be a lot happier if you hadn't bought your Secret Santa half the galaxy. "Grunted the enamored krogan.

"I don't know what you're talking about…I think you need to lay off the smoke Wrex," grinned Ash.

Joker continued across the room, finally reaching his destination, joining Ash, Tali and Garrus by the woefully bare Christmas tree. "Cool lights," he said to Tali.

"Thank you. Originally I had intended to use them on the tree…" Looking at the half-eaten evergreen, Tali continued, "But ended up integrating them into my suit. The secret is in reversing the polarity of the neutron flow." She conspiratorially whispered to Garrus, who nodded appreciatively.

"What's keeping the commander?" asked Ashley.

"Probably some smoochy face of her own, considering Liara's absence," replied Dr. Chakwas, sipping her beverage as she slinked her way over to the group.

"So Chief," Garrus started, "About those crates…you know….rumor has it that I'm your Secret Santa…"

"Not you too….wait…what rumor?"

"Well, it is a little cramped down there, but all will be forgiven if they're for me." Garrus flapped his flanges in the turian version of a smile

"Look, I know what you guys are doing and it's not gonna work. I'm not telling you who my Secret Santa is, and trying to confuse me by bluffing about the cargo is pretty lame and not gonna work. I have one crate and one crate only for my Secret Santa, end of discussion."

"Do I look like I'm bluffing?" Wrex, who had walked up unnoticed behind Ashley during her tirade, stood intimidatingly over the gunny chief. Ash turned around at the krogan's grumble, looked up and gulped, "No."

Tali looked between Wrex and Ashley and proposed, "Why don't we just go down to the cargo bay and see for ourselves?"

"Excellent idea Tali," said Dr. Chakwas, "since the commander is running a little late, surely there is time."

There were nods of ascent around the room as everyone agreed to go down to the cargo bay to confirm the crate situation for themselves.

******************** Shepard's Cabin ********************

"Shepard?"

"Hmm hmmm," acknowledged the commander as her lips nuzzled the asari's neck, while her hands nuzzled elsewhere.

"While I admire your amazing …ahhhh…stamina…um…we really need to…YES!"

"Yes?"

"No…um…no...I…I mean go."

"Go?"

"Yes, go."

"Yes or go?"

"Shepard, you're not making any sense."

"Have you listened to yourself lately?"

Liara extricated herself from the commander's grip, quickly dressing and zipped up her jumpsuit. "Really Shepard?" asked the asari, as her hands struggled to smooth out her uniform. "I am the daughter of Matriarch Benezia, from the esteemed House of T'Soni, schooled to always maintain a sense of decorum and composure. I am always presentable and I always make sense."

"Uh… Li?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Your jumpsuit's inside out," said Shepard, "and you forgot your panties." Shepard held up the undergarment in question for Liara. The asari, turning several shades of blue and purple, grabbed her panties and quickly headed for the commander's bathroom as Shepard called out, "For the record, I am totally cool with you going commando!"

******************** Cargo Bay ********************

"This can't be right," said a bewildered Ashley.

"According to the manifest, said Garrus, reviewing the datapad, "these are all your crates."

"Let me see that," said Ash, snatching the datapad from Garrus's talons.

Strewn about the cargo bay taking up nearly every bit of free space were dozens of crates. Wrex gave a victory snort as Chief Williams continued to stare at the datapad, not believing what she was reading. "But I only ordered just one for Garrus…" No sooner than it was out of her mouth, Williams, looked up, realizing her gaff.

"I'm sorry, did you say 'for Garrus'?" asked the turian, clearly pleased with Ashley's omission as he answered his own question, "Why yes, I think you did say 'for Garrus.'"

Ashley attempted to backpedal, but it was too late. Garrus had already started moving about the cargo bay humming "For Garrus, for Garrus" as he weaved his angular frame about the crates. Wrex shook his head in disgust, while Tali giggled at the turian's behavior. Chief Williams, exasperated by the whole situation, slammed the datapad down on one of the crates, halting Garrus's movements. The turian eyed the gunny, then delivered his final blow. Waving his arms wide, he glanced around the cargo bay and said, "I'm Garrus Vakarian and these are all my presents!"

"Trees? All of them?" asked Ash, to no one in particular.

"Yep! That's the last crate," said Tali.

Garrus dreamily looked around the cargo bay, which now more closely resembled a forest, turned to Ashley and said, "Thank you Chief…you shouldn't have."

Scouring, the Alliance marine retorted, "I didn't."

"Ha! Shepard's gonna be pissed," boomed Wrex.

"I think it's a wonderful and thoughtful gift. I'm sure Shepard will understand," replied Garrus.

"You know how she feels about plants or have you forgotten Feros?"

"These are not some centuries old, mind controlling blobs filled with green goo…they're not even plants, they're trees."

"No, but if naked asari start popping out of the branches, I'm down," quipped Joker.

"They do look a little different than the one upstairs," said Tali.

"That's just because Garrus hasn't eaten half of them yet," said Joker.

Chief Williams rolled her eyes and turned to Tali, "Okay, whadya get me?" Tali jumped up excitedly saying she'd be right back. After Ashley had accidentally revealed herself to be Garrus's Secret Santa. She reasoned it was only fair for everyone else to reveal their Secret Santa. She had also made it a stipulation to Garrus's crates being opened, but since everyone knew she was Garrus's Santa and Shepard was Liara's, and vice versa, and the doc' had Wrex, that left only them. Needless to say, curiosity won out over secrecy and now the gunny chief anxiously awaited her gift from Tali. Apparently Wrex had originally been her Secret Santa but he and Tali had done a deal to swap names, something about gun parts and synthetic ryncol. Regardless, she thought, it was probably better having Tali as her Santa, because knowing Wrex he'd probably have given her a pet pyjak.

"Here it is!" declared Tali, wheeling in a medium sized crate. Excitedly the quarian explained to Ashley that considering the gunny's personality, along with the research Tali had done on human holiday traditions, she believed Chief Williams would thoroughly enjoy her gift. "I made it myself."

With much anticipation Ashley opened the crate, but upon revealing its contents, looked confused. Inside the crate was a tripod apparatus of some sort which looked like a cross between a telescope and an automated ball machine. "What is it?"

Excitedly Tali explained, given Chief Williams love of guns, along with the human notion of a white Christmas, she had crafted a snow machine. With the various attachments she had also made, and the varying speeds of the machine, Ashley could use the device to cover an entire area in a blanket of snow or hit a particular target with rapid fire, pinpoint precision, similar to an automated turret.

"Did you say, gun?" asked Ashley, with growing interest.

Tali went on to explain that yes, with the correct attachment installed, it would basically fire what humans call 'snowballs.' When Joker expressed concern about the mess it would make, the quarian assured everyone the chemical components of the fake snow would disintegrate on their own after several hours of being exposed to air. Chief Williams asked Tali to demonstrate how to use her gift and the quarian quickly covered the cargo area forest in a blanket of snow, leaving everyone amazed. Ash then asked her to put on the snowball attachment, which promptly led to disaster as the gunny chief got carried away firing snowballs and hit Wrex square in the face. Nobody moved. Not a sound was made as everyone awaited Wrex's response. The krogan's long tongue flicked about either side of his face, sampling the white fluffy dust, his eyes never leaving Ashley's.

"Do you have anything to say, human?"

Ashley, squeaked, "Oops?"

******************** Conference Room ********************

Shepard and Liara stepped into the conference room and were taken aback by the devastation which greeted them. Slips of colored paper were haphazardly cast about, the subtle smell of smoke hung in the air, several of the holiday decorations appeared to have been singed and the punch bowl was empty.

"Must've been one helluva party," said Shepard.

******************** Cargo Bay ********************

Wrex was unsure if it had been the actual surprise snowball that flattened against his enormous head that bother him most, or the hysterical laughing human woman who hardly lost her sophisticated composure. Gripping her sides, Dr. Chakwas chuckled, "Oh look how cute Wrex looks."

"You're in big trouble Williams," warned the battlemaster.

Quickly taking cover behind the newly formed white forest, Garrus added, "I agree."

Watching Ash hold her position as her finger threatened to pull the trigger again at the slowly approaching krogan, Tali waved her hands and advised, "Nothing good can come of this Chief,"

Moving back a few steps himself, Joker stated, "I'm with them."

"Listen, you're all a bunch of pantywaists…if you don't want any part of this, that's fine… step aside… but I come from a long line of marines, there is no way I am backing down now."

From the moment Ashley had hatched her plan, Joker, Tali, Garrus and even Dr. Chakwas had tried to talk her out of it, but to no avail. But being stubborn as she was, the gunny took off running and set Tali's snow gun between a couple of trees across the bay floor and waited for Wrex to make his next move. Her four companions, wanting absolutely no part in the ambush, stood nervously off to the side. Garrus leaned over and asked Tali what it meant to be a pantywaist, but the quarian was just as baffled. "It means you got no quad," groused Wrex, "which in your case is true."

The marine shifted her weight around the newly favored weapon, just like she learned in bootcamp. The milk chocolate eyes shot wide, as to Ash's surprise at not believing how fast a krogan could really move. Protesting loudly, the marine blurted, "Hey! That's not fair!"

If it were possible, Wrex was heard chuckling as he ducked in and out around the snow covered trees. "Come on Marine, hit me with your best shot!" Turning the corner, the large battlemaster headed towards the elevator doors. "If you can."

Using her gloved fingers, Tali had partially covered her face mask, while Joker hid behind the mako. Garrus was happily grazing on a nearby branch as if he were watching a skyball match as Dr. Chakwas stood in the open with hand on hip, while she sipped her drink in the other. Ash felt like an old fashioned mobster firing her tommy gun at the krogan, leaving a trail of evidence of her inaccurate fire behind the Tuchunka native. Determined to get the upper hand, the gunny chief flipped the switch to increase her rate of fire. "I've got you now Wrex!"

Before Wrex could retort, the lift doors opened and Liara and Shepard stepped out. Pleasantly surprised by the gorgeous winter wonderland, Shepard smiled and was about to address her lover seconds before several large snowballs accidently struck her. All movement in the cargo bay instantaneously ceased. The seasoned soldier's hands slowly lifted and pushed the excess snow off her face. To her left, stood Liara, awestruck shielding her mouth in absolute shock. Glancing in the direction of the rogue projectiles, the savior of the galaxy glared at Ash as she quickly got to her feet. "It's… it's… not what it looks like Shepard."

…to be continued


	3. Chapter 3

Tugging at her collar, the commanding officer's head tilted as she spoke, "Oh I think it's exactly what it looks like Chief Williams."

Addressed by rank, Ash gulped. She knew now she was in very serious trouble. The Spectre looked less than pleased at the gunnery chief. But then being smacked in the face several times by high velocity snowy projectiles will do that.

"I…I can explain." she snapped to a ridged stance of attention her new boom stick at her side as if it were a proper rifle.

"Uh-ah." the Spectre said disbelievingly.

The others came out of the forest to stand near the marine, what surprised Shepard most was Dr. Chakwas emerging with a tuft of snow on her already white haired head. All the faces save for the battle master had the decency to look chagrined, Tali (er…relatively speaking) perhaps looking the most guilty. It was after all her invention that led to the marine's amok antics.

Shepard turned slightly so six delinquents could not see her hand motion to Liara who coquettishly smirked with a half-smile.

"Looks to me like I have a forest blanketed in snow in my cargo bay and my gunnery chief just pointed a gun at her commanding officer. And not only that but openly fired upon said superior officer."

"Commander um yes that's what it looks like." Garrus said defensively. "But she meant to hit Wrex."

"I see." Shepard lowered her voice.

"We tried to talk her out of if but being a marine is in her blood and all." Joker said not helping. The others looked at him balefully he shrugged. "What? We did. She's too damn stubborn."

Even Shepard was a little put off by the flight lieutenant's words. You never rat out a squadmate. Then again he wasn't actually apart of the ground team…so the ties were not as strong, still he shouldn't have squealed.

Ash didn't know if she was shivering more from the wet-cold of the snow or fear of a seemingly very angry Spectre who was now standing nose to nose with her.

"I see." the Commander repeated.

"We were just having a bit of Christmas cheer, Commander." Dr. Chakwas refined British accent quickly intervened. "And it got away from us."

Shepard said nothing

"Relinquish that rifle, marine." A hand shot out expectantly.

Ash quickly obeyed and handed the miniature snow-cannon to the commander, not daring to speak until given permission. Shepard was genuinely impressed by the creation. It was in a few words a true work of art. Tali had certainly outdone herself.

Shepard tuned and took three steps back toward her asari lover, winked. "Now Liara!"

The asari's body whose body was shimmering in cyan energy which everyone only now just noticed unleashed a biotic wave directly at the little piles of snow. A whirlwind of white rose up and in a flurry of miniature proportions swathed the six mournful delinquents in a blanket of snow.

Shepard burst out laughing at each stunned, shocked, and disbelieving face. Liara was giggling at the infectious gurgles of laughter coming from her lover.

"Priceless!" Shepard hooted. "Absolutely priceless!"

Shepard had the snow cannon aimed directly at Ash. "You know, they say there is only one rule on Omega." the devilish grin grew wider. "I say there is only one rule on my ship, gunnery chief."

Ash opened her mouth but nothing came out; not a protest, not a rebuttal not a sound.

Shepard pulled the trigger but not before shifting her line of fire and hit Joker square in the chest.

"Now it was on" smirked the galactic warrior stealing a glance of the beautiful asari maiden to her side.

For those who had been in battle before – Tali, Garrus and Ashley- instinct took over and they all dove for cover within the impromptusnowcapped cargo forest. In Wrex's case- since krogan do not "duck" - he moved to a more strategic location from which to plan an offensive – behind the biggest fir tree.

As for the non-combatants, they remained standing in the open. Chakwas, ever regal and rarely flummoxed, brushed the snow from her arms, daintily raised the glass to her lips and tooka sip of eggnog which had miraculously escaped any – who hadn't moved a muscle- just stared at Shepard.

Flabbergasted, the pilot whined, "I can't believe you shot an unarmed man!"

"All's fair in love, war and snowball fights, Joker!" Shepard crouched on one knee, spanning the rifle across the line of fir trees, looking for her next shot.

Liara stepped behind her lover and raised a biotic barrier to cover them both from incoming attacks – she would drop it when signaled. Playfully, she nudged the commander with her knee. "I shall tuck that information away for safe keeping."

"I think you have enough tactical information in your arsenal already, T'Soni."

"Is that a complaint about your earlier ambush?"

As her thoughts drifted briefly to their earlier tryst, the red-head smiled mischievously. "On second thought, keep tucking that information away."

"Only for you, Shepard."

Garrus and Tali had hunkered down behind the same fir tree. As the turian snapped off a twig to sample the new tasty treat, the quarian handed him a pistol the she seemingly produced from thin air. There was an oddness about the gun though - it looked suspiciously like a smaller version of the rifle currently in Shepard's hands.

Still chomping on the needled sprig, the turian asked, "What's this?"

"What does it look like?" While frantically punching commands into her omni-tool, Tali glanced at Garrus. "Protection."

Realization dawned on the turian. "Wait... you made two?"

Exasperated, Tali said, "Garrus, I gave the Normandy's Gunnery Chief a snow gun! In what eezo-crazed universe was that ever going to end well?"

"Good point." The turian sized up the pistol and then twisted around to get a good look at the battlefield.

Ashley and Wrex flanked Liara and Shepard's right and left sides, respectively. While the chief was busy making grapefruit-sized snowballs by hand, she caught site of the krogan who had packed together ones that resembled large boulders. They nodded in silent agreement. There were now allies united under threat of a common enemy.

While Ash Williams tried to stay hidden, she couldn't help but spot the shiny new weapon in the turian's hands. Dumbfounded, the gunny's eyes raced back to her commanding officer, who was still wielding her stolen Christmas present from Tali. Gasping, the gunny chief scoffed, "Figures. And here I thought we had something special!"

Ash peeked her head out from behind cover, a quick blitz of snowy projectiles missing her by inches. She muttered to herself over how she shouldn't have fallen for Shepard's obvious ploy so easily, and grabbed one of her snowballs, giving it a few pats to make sure it was tightly packed. Mouthing a countdown from five, hearing Garrus firing away with his newfound pistol, she popped out mid-offensive and hurled the snowball at the pair of aggressors.

To her dismay, it bounced off Liara's barriers as the asari held a defensive against the group's attack. The carefree grin on Shepard's face was too much for her to handle. "Took my gun, and now she's got a freaking impossible defense…but only when she's not firing…" she mused to herself, a plan forming into place.

Wrex turned his head toward the marine across from him and grimaced in annoyance; the woman had been calling after him for nearly half a minute, and he'd finally gotten the last of his snow boulders made. He watched as she started making a series of gestures with her hands, only getting distracted momentarily as Garrus was blasted with a barrage, knocking him off his feet and into a small evergreen. Turning his focus back to her, she bundled two of her small snowballs against her chest with one arm and began a countdown with her other hand. Wrex nodded, it was time to spread some holiday carnage.

As soon as Wrex nodded she turned away, still counting down with her hand raised in the air.

Her first few steps were quick, bursting out of her cover, drawing her gleeful commander's attention. Ash smiled as a spray of snow peppered at her heels; she tossed one of her balls aimlessly in Shepard's direction, sailing wide, as snow burst against her face and chest. The blast knocked her into a small mound of snow face-first, leaving her hoping that Wrex would follow through. A thunderous series of crashes moments later and a guttural laugh from the krogan signaled that her plan had worked at least a little bit.

She rolled onto her side and looked towards where the duo had been to see Shepard completely sprawled on the ground, her face buried under the remains of the snow boulder. Liara immediately knelt down to wipe the snow away and when she removed it from Shepard's face the commander gasped for air. Ashley clutched her side laughing at the sight while Wrex gathered up the rest of his snow boulders.

Face flushed a bright red, Shepard looked up at Liara with a dramatic expression and said, "They got me, my love. I'm done for." Raising the snow gun up to the asari she added, "Here, take this. Find Tali and Garrus. Avenge me!"

Liara struggled not to laugh, and instead tried her best to nod solemnly before taking the gun and darting away towards the trees.

Now that the commander was alone and unguarded, Ashley moved in with a snowball in each hand. Standing over Shepard, she grinned and said, "Payback time," before tossing both snowballs right into Shepard's face. "This is what playing dirty gets you, Skipper. You shouldn't have turned everyone against you."

Raising a hand to wipe the snow from her face and spit out some ice that had gotten into her mouth, Shepard flashed a sly smile and said, "And if I did what then? Are you aggrieved therefore? The sea hath fish for every man, and what would you have more?"

Ashley quirked an eyebrow at that, but only managed to mouth, "Wha-?" before Shepard twisted and swept the marine's legs out from under her. Ashley fell on her butt unceremoniously and Shepard wasted no time heaving handfuls of snow onto her face in retaliation. The two women fought viciously, practically wrestling in the snow, until a sudden shadow fell over them. They stopped and looked up to see Wrex standing over them both, his face unreadable and one of his giant snow boulders in his hands. Ashley smirked and said, "Ha! You'll get it now Shepard! Go ahead and pummel her, Wrex!"

But the krogan's lips twitched up into a wicked smile and he smashed both women in the face with the boulder of snow. Lying on the ground, neither woman could properly fight back and Wrex amused himself by dropping mound after mound of snow on them as they curled up helplessly.

Back in the trees, Liara had found Garrus and Tali and they were planning a rescue mission. Since they had both guns now, an all out assault on the krogan seemed the best solution. As they prepared to move out, though, Garrus handed the gun to Tali.

"Why are you giving it to me?" she asked.

Garrus looked suddenly very tired and even yawned. "Turians don't like the cold," he grumbled. "It puts us to sleep."

Liara remembered him saying much the same on Noveria.

Tali nodded. "Ok, leave it to us." The two women stood up and ran out of cover, firing on the krogan. That got his attention long enough for him to cease in his barrage of Shepard and Ashley, and the two marines now united in scrambling to their feet and joining the assault. The combined forces of everyone working against Wrex was enough to immobilize the krogan.

"Fine, fine!" he grunted, holding up his arms. "You win."

Out of breath and wiping the excess snow from her uniform, the _Normandy's_ commanding officer muttered to herself, "Well, that's one way to spread holiday cheer." Before musingly addressing the formidable battle master, she looked over the pile of snow which had nearly encased him. "Enjoying your first Christmas?"

"Bah," he chortled. "This," lifting his arms, indicating his surrender, "is my Christmas gift to all of you. Five against one; the odds were not in your favor."

The Spectre smirked, "What a kind and… thoughtful gift."

Rejoining the group, Joker looked at Doctor Chakwas and quipped, "For a second there, I thought the Abominable-Snow-Wrex was going to say 'bah-humbug'." The humans shared a laugh while the aliens exchanged confused glances. Joker ran a hand over the length of his face and sighed, "I'll explain later."

Chief Williams stalked around her comrade, admiring their handiwork with a mischievous smile. Walking past a nearby pine, she stopped, turned, grabbed a couple branches, handed one to Garrus, who was sleepily munching on his last bit of fir, while leaning on Tali, who was struggling with all her might to remain standing. The chocolate eyed woman then proceeded to put one branch in each of Wrex's hands, which were still outstretched. "Something's missing," she muttered, leaning as close as she dared.

They all studied the figure before them when Shepard suddenly snapped her fingers. "I've got it!" She walked over to Joker and as she had done days earlier, snatched the hat off his head and placed the small cap upon the massive warrior's enormous head. The spectre tilted it a bit, then stepped back to check her work. "There, that's better."

"A few pieces of coal and a carrot and he'd be a perfect snow-krogan," Liara said. When she received a few surprised glances from her human teammates she shrugged, "So I've read."

"Whatever," Wrex growled. "Now someone get me out of here!"

The group smiled and moved to dig him out.

Realizing that someone was missing, Liara looked back and saw Shepard looking around the cargo bay, lost in thought. She joined her love, but when the veteran soldier didn't acknowledge the asari's presence, she grew concerned. Placing a hand on her shoulder the professor inquired, "Are you all right, Shepard?"

Breaking from her thoughts, Shepard turned and smiled. "Yes, I was just remembering that before I was so rudely interrupted," she said with a glance at Williams, "I wanted to tell you how much this reminded me of winters back on Earth; the trees covered with snow, the sound of it crunching beneath your boots…" she inhaled a deep breath cool air, "even the inevitable snowball fight." The human shifted her weight as she looked across to the group and saw Wrex shake off the last remnants of snow, hand Garrus the two fir branches, and returned Joker's hat.

Liara smiled. "It is beautiful."

"Yes, it is…" Shepard replied, no longer admiring _only_ the winter wonderland.

The young T'Soni caught her lover's gaze, a slight purple blush coloring her cheeks as she smiled in return.

A few moments later, Doctor Chakwas joined the couple. "Reminiscing?" she asked knowingly, after taking in the situation.

"Something like that," the commander replied before shifting her gaze to the other doctor. "What can I do for you, doc?"

"Well, my glass is empty and we were just discussing returning to the conference room to rejoin the party."

"Sounds great, if there was a party to go back to." Sulked the N-7 officer. Chakwas looked confused as to what the spectre was referring to, but waited patiently as she continued. "I don't know what we missed, but when we arrived the place was deserted and it looked like a bomb had gone off."

"Oh dear," the doctor replied, obviously disappointed.

Suddenly, Shepard brightened, "I have an idea. Wait here." The savior of the galaxy dashed off and disappeared out of sight.


End file.
